Log In 
News
Five Ways to Build a Child’s Self-Confidence
Randi Lauvland, founder of “Dibber” (in Latvia – “CreaKids”)
Children are different. Each has their own temperament, experiences, and way of learning. That is why a child’s self-confidence can be strengthened in many ways. It develops through everyday moments when children feel: I am seen, I am supported, I am allowed to make mistakes, and I can try again. Adults help most when they provide just enough support for the child to take the next step independently.
See the child behind the behavior
Adults often focus only on what is visible. A child may withdraw, refuse to participate, resist, make mistakes, or lose focus quickly – but behind this behavior there may be fatigue, insecurity, fear of failure, or a task that feels too difficult. Instead of asking, “Why is the child not listening?”, it is more useful to understand what is preventing them from engaging and what kind of support they need. Sometimes, a child first needs someone who sees what lies beneath the behavior. Only then come explanations, boundaries, or practical help.
Give tasks the child can manage with a little support
A child’s confidence grows in moments when they succeed on their own. If an adult does everything for them, life may be easier in the short term, but the child becomes dependent on others. Confidence builds when a child completes a task that initially felt difficult. Everyday skills are a good example – if a child is learning to zip up a jacket, the adult can help at the start, but let the child finish independently. That moment of success is what strengthens their self-confidence.
Allow mistakes without shame
Children quickly learn whether mistakes are part of learning or a reason for criticism. If every failure is met with a strong negative reaction, the child becomes cautious and less willing to try. Their focus shifts from the task to avoiding embarrassment. At “CreaKids,” we follow an approach we call a culture of the heart – a supportive environment where children can be themselves, make mistakes, and know they will be treated with respect. If a child spills milk while trying to pour it, they also learn from the adult’s reaction. Anger teaches fear, while a calm response like, “Let’s clean it up and try again,” shows that mistakes can be corrected.
Find ways for the child to participate
Sometimes a child needs a simpler way to join a shared activity. They may not want to sing, refuse to take part in a game, or lose interest quickly. It is easier to tell them to sit aside, but this sends a message: if I cannot do it as expected, I do not belong. A better approach is to offer a smaller role within the same activity. If the child does not want to sing, they can hold picture cards, choose the next song, or demonstrate movements for others to follow. This way, they remain part of the group in a way that suits them.
Help the child feel needed in the group
Confidence also grows when a child feels they have a place in the group. It is important for them to feel that others need them. Sometimes a child stays on the sidelines simply because they do not know how to join in. An adult can help by giving a clear role. For example, if other children are riding bicycles, the child can be invited to set up a “fuel station.” The others will come to them for “fuel,” creating a natural and meaningful way to participate in the play.
A child’s self-confidence is shaped through everyday interactions – how adults listen, support, respond to mistakes, and allow children to experience small successes. And the greatest support comes from an adult who does not rush to do things for the child, but stays nearby while the child learns to manage independently.