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Transparency Creates Security – How Can Children and Parents Adapt to Preschool?
PEP Mom Elīna Kļaviņa
Summer is often associated with relaxation and carefree moments, but for many families, it is also a time of significant change—especially when a child is about to begin their preschool journey. July is still a great time to start preparing for this new chapter. The relatively calm pace of summer allows families to gradually get familiar with the preschool environment and prepare step by step for the upcoming transition.
It’s important to understand that adaptation does not concern only the child. It’s a shared process for the whole family. For parents experiencing preschool for the first time, it can be a major event for them as well. In families with multiple children, each new experience may differ—every child is unique, environments change, and so do the parents’ feelings and their own adaptation at every level—child, parent, and educator.
Adaptation means gradual physical and emotional integration into a new environment
According to what we know about development, for children up to three or four years old, the presence of an attachment figure is of great importance during this process. An attachment figure is an adult the child knows well and spends time with daily—this can be a parent, grandparent, relative, or nanny. It doesn’t have to be the mother or father specifically, but it’s crucial that the child can calm down with this person. Emotional attachment is the key to feeling safe in a new environment.
Parent Interaction with the Environment, Child, and Staff
I am very glad that there are preschools—such as CreaKids (https://www.creakids.lv/) – that place particular emphasis on ensuring both children and parents feel safe, implementing a well-thought-out adaptation process. For instance, their five-day model includes parents actively participating in the child’s daily life at the preschool during the first two or three days. This presence is not just passive observation—parents interact actively with the environment, the child, and the staff, creating a sense of security for the child. They play together, sit on the floor or at the small tables, explore the playground, restrooms, and other preschool spaces, talk to the teachers—and this behavior signals to the child that everything is fine and the environment is safe.
Parents May Carry Anxiety from Previous Experiences
A common question is whether and to what extent a parent’s emotions and anxiety affect the child’s adaptation. The answer: yes, it can have an impact. However, it’s also important to remember that anxiety is normal—it shouldn’t be denied or judged. It comes from the desire to create a safe environment for one’s child. Additionally, parents may carry their own worries from past experiences—difficult pregnancies, the child’s health issues, or even from their own early childhood if their preschool experience was negative. Parents often respond to new stages in their child’s life through the lens of their own past. If a parent had a warm and supportive preschool experience, they’re more likely to feel excited about offering the same to their child. But if they had an unpleasant experience, or never attended preschool at all, letting go can trigger insecurity. What matters most is to acknowledge these feelings, understand their roots, and, ideally, share them with a trusted person. That’s why emotional support for parents during the adaptation period is crucial—this support may come from a partner, friend, PEP mom, or preschool staff.
To Support Your Child, You Need to Feel Well Yourself
Parents play a huge role in ensuring a smooth adaptation process. However, we can’t fully support our child if we don’t feel well ourselves. That’s why I encourage parents to take care of themselves too. Comfortable clothing, a proper breakfast, good sleep—these simple things help parents remain emotionally available for their child, which is especially important during this major transition. If a parent feels anxious about even a few hours of separation, that’s okay too. The key isn’t to suppress those feelings or pretend they don’t exist, but to become aware of them and explore their origins. What exactly am I feeling? Am I worried about my child’s difficulties, or am I grieving the start of a new stage in which my child is no longer only with me?
The clearer the adult is about their own feelings, the less likely it is that their anxiety will affect the child. Awareness helps the parent stay present for the child’s needs, to provide support instead of becoming lost in their own inner turmoil.
A Photo Album of the Preschool Environment
If your child is set to begin preschool in September, it’s not too late—you can still make some simple changes that will help the child adjust. It’s advisable to gradually align the family’s daily routine with the preschool schedule—wake-up times, meals, outdoor play. If the child is already familiar with this rhythm, the transition will be easier.
One highly practical and valuable suggestion often mentioned by Montessori educators is to create a small photo album for your child with pictures of the actual preschool environment. These can include rooms, the yard, toys, and, if possible, the child themselves during a familiarization visit to the preschool. Looking through these photos together and discussing them will give the child a greater sense of predictability, which in turn strengthens their feeling of safety.
Ask Questions to the Preschool Staff
I encourage parents to ask questions to preschool staff—learn about the daily routine and what your child can expect. This will give you a sense of security and help build trust in the preschool. Avoid saying things that could frighten your child like, “You’ll see what happens in preschool,” or “Just wait till you start preschool”—this kind of language isn’t helpful.
Preschool and social interaction with peers can bring many benefits to a child’s development, especially when supportive adults—like preschool teachers—are by the child’s side. This is especially vital for younger children.
Adaptation – A Cornerstone for Future Life Steps
A well-thought-out adaptation process benefits everyone—children, parents, and even educators. For the child, this experience forms the foundation for emotional security, teaches trust, flexibility, and provides a first experience of interacting outside the family. We can’t foresee every situation, but we can create an environment where the child feels safe to face the unknown.
During adaptation, the child learns to become part of a new environment, and the parent learns a new role—being supportive, trusting other adults, and allowing the child to grow outside of their own presence. When this journey is taken together, mindfully and with empathy, it becomes a cornerstone not only for a successful preschool experience but also for future life stages—school, friendships, relationships, and even adult professional life.
I encourage parents to prepare not just the child for preschool, but also themselves, and to understand that adaptation is a process in which there is no “right” or “wrong.” I also encourage preschools to act responsibly and implement thoughtful, evidence-based transition processes.