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Dialogue
Behind Every Emotion Lies a Need – Can Conflicts in Education Be Resolved Through Mediation?
Certified Mediator Madara Spelmane
Mediation as a conflict resolution method has been available in Latvia for 20 years, with the Mediation Law enacted a decade ago. Although this approach offers effective solutions, it is still relatively unknown and underutilized by the broader society. Mediation extends far beyond traditional conflict resolution concepts and can be successfully applied in various fields, including education. In the educational environment, where teachers, parents, and children interact closely on a daily basis, emotions often run high, and complexities abound. Here, mediation can be particularly effective in resolving disputes between teachers and parents, among parents themselves, or even between teachers. It provides a safe and neutral space where conflicting parties can openly express their concerns and needs.
The key value of mediation lies not only in resolving conflicts but also in maintaining and restoring relationships. In education, this is crucial because mutual trust and respect among teachers, students, and parents form the foundation of successful collaboration and a positive learning environment. Moreover, mediation helps find solutions that cater to all involved parties rather than favouring one side. Mediation’s potential in education is vast and can become a significant tool in reducing conflicts while fostering understanding and respect in everyday interactions.
Finding Mutually Acceptable Solutions Together
Mediation is a conflict resolution method led by a neutral third party – the mediator. It enables disputes to be resolved respectfully and systematically, which is particularly important in today’s fast-paced world. Often, there is little time or space to truly listen to others, understand opposing viewpoints, and empathetically respond to others’ needs. Mediation offers this missing opportunity – a calm environment where conflicting parties can safely express their feelings and needs. The main goal is not only to clearly define each party’s interests but also to uncover the deeper needs underlying the conflict. Mediation structures the dialogue so that both parties feel heard and understood.
Rather than resolving conflicts through a win-lose dynamic, mediation focuses on mutual collaboration, allowing for solutions that satisfy all involved. As a result, the solutions are sustainable because they are based not just on compromises but also on mutual understanding and respect. Mediation fosters positive dialogue, which is an invaluable contribution not only to conflict resolution but also to strengthening relationships.
The Mediator’s Role – To Guide, Not Decide
Mediation differs significantly from litigation – the mediator does not act as a judge determining outcomes. The mediator’s role is to guide the process so that the conflicting parties can find a solution that aligns with their interests and needs. This process is grounded in dialogue and mutual understanding rather than decisions imposed by a third party.
To illustrate this approach, consider a symbolic example with an orange. If a mother has one orange and two children who both want it, a court might simply split the orange in half, giving each child an equal share. Mediation, however, would take a different approach. The mediator would first determine why each child wants the orange and what they plan to do with it. Perhaps one child wants the pulp to make juice, while the other wants the peel for baking. In this case, the orange can be divided in a way that fully satisfies both children’s needs rather than merely creating a mechanical split.
This example vividly demonstrates the essence of mediation – understanding what lies behind each party’s demands and finding creative, mutually acceptable solutions. Mediation not only resolves conflicts but also strengthens mutual understanding and trust, which often proves to be the most valuable long-term outcome.
Direct and Open Communication – The First Step in Conflict Resolution
Conflicts may arise between parents and educators in education, but it’s important to remember that their true interests usually align – the well-being and development of the child. Why, then, do conflicts occur? The answer lies in differing opinions on how to achieve the shared goal. Even seemingly minor disagreements can snowball into major conflicts if left unaddressed. That’s why it’s crucial to start with direct and open communication – free from accusations and focused on the core issue.
Often, such an approach helps both parties understand each other and find a solution independently. However, if a private conversation fails or the parties lack the skills for constructive dialogue, involving a professional mediator can be invaluable. A mediator provides a neutral space and helps overcome emotional barriers that often impede conflict resolution. This allows the parties not only to find a practical solution but also to strengthen mutual understanding and trust in the long term. Direct and open communication is a powerful tool, but mediation can be a crucial support when independent efforts are insufficient.
Emotions Are Allowed
In conflict situations, emotions often take precedence over rational thought, and this is entirely natural. In mediation, emotions need not be suppressed – they are allowed and even necessary to fully understand each party’s needs and concerns. However, it is important to understand at which stage of the mediation process emotions are expressed.
In the early stages of mediation, when each party explains their perspective on the problem and clarifies their needs, emotional reactions are entirely acceptable and even beneficial. However, if emotions dominate later, during the definition of potential solutions, they can hinder progress. In such cases, it is necessary to revisit the earlier discussions to ensure that all parties feel understood and emotionally stable.
To ensure a calm and respectful dialogue, rules are jointly discussed and established at the start of mediation, such as not interrupting, avoiding raised voices, and refraining from personal insults. These rules are not imposed by the mediator but are co-created with the involved parties, who commit to following them. The mediator’s role is to remind the participants of these rules when emotions run high.
While these rules may seem self-evident, even adults can struggle to follow them in moments of heightened emotion. The mediator helps maintain a respectful atmosphere, ensuring that the discussions remain constructive and the outcome mutually acceptable. Emotions are a crucial part of conflict, but successful mediation structures them in a way that facilitates, rather than hinders, the resolution process.
The Mediator Does Not Judge or Condemn
In mediation, it is vital to understand that no one makes decisions on behalf of others. The mediator does not judge, condemn, or impose their opinions but ensures a neutral environment where the parties themselves resolve the conflict. Unlike a court, which relies solely on facts and makes decisions based on specific criteria, mediation allows each party to express not only their stance but also their desires and needs.
The mediator does not offer ready-made solutions or suggest what might be better or worse. Instead, they structure the dialogue and help the parties communicate with respect and confidentiality. Through this process, participants gain a better understanding of each other’s positions, motivations, and emotions, which often underlie the conflict.
Mediation has a profound and positive impact. It helps conflicting parties open up to new ideas and collaboratively create solutions that meet everyone’s needs. The mediator fosters a safe environment that encourages cooperation and supports the parties’ autonomy, resulting in solutions that are not only practical but also emotionally sustainable.
This approach not only resolves the immediate conflict but also enhances the ability to work effectively together in the future. Mediation is not just about problem-solving – it is also a path to deeper understanding, trust, and stronger relationships.